Eu de Footwear.

I love the smell of new shoes.

I think the shoe companies put some kind of opiate in the glue they use to assemble them, something that wafts out of the box and intoxicates the would-be owner in the store, lulling them into a euphoric state. All the better to facilitate the puchase, right?

Yes, it is a very distinct aroma. All too soon it fades, sometimes (especially if you run without socks) to be replaced by a different... aroma. Or stench, more like. Funk that is only second to mustard gas in fatal power. The dog won't even bury them. Weapons of mass destruction? Yeah, I got 'em. Washing them does no good -- the stench may be drastically reduced, but that new shoe smell is gone forever. Until the next new pair is introduced.

People talk about new-car smell. You can even buy car air fresheners and sprays with the scent of "new car". Seriously.

My wife.... Er, Santa... Got a pair of Stuff-Its for me for Christmas. Their supposed to help dry out your shoes after wearing, reducing the smell. No, they don't re-introduce new-shoe smell into the shoes. Dammit.

I think if Bed Bath and Beyond had one of those scented candles in new-shoe aroma, I'd buy it. And light it in my equipment cave (the laundry room). Just to keep things fresh, of course.

Would cologne be too much? Maybe. Non-shoe geeks wouldn't understand...

Why am I going on about this? Well, in November I got in contact with some marketing people at Skechers, and signed some non-disclosure agreements so that I could be a wear tester. Last night I had a box at the door. Three (!) pairs of new Skechers, preproduction models for me to thrash about in and give my impressions. Very cool.

That non-disclosure agreement prevents me from saying anything about them. But if and when I get the green light to spill, I will. In the mean time, I've got three new pairs of new-shoe smell sitting next to me on the couch.

Maybe I can use up all the new shoe smell before I have to send them back.