In my last post, I paid homage to my father, the role he played in my life, and the character he portrayed every day.
Little did I know that he would take his last breath only 12 hours later.
Many people have expressed their heartfelt sympathy towards me, with the words "sorry for your loss."
I find that a little interesting. Mostly these words come from people who never knew him.
The fact is, I'm not really sorry he's gone.
WAIT!
Before you start jumping on my case about being an emotional void, of
hating my father, of being glad he's out of my life, hear me out.
There's a difference between being glad he's gone, and not being sorry
he's gone.
Had
you watched this vital, caring man see his life slowly stolen from him,
had you watched the frustration he endured, the loss of dignity, and
eventually the point to where he could not interact with the world
around him, you would likely feel the same way.
I'm not sorry that the struggles he's gone through are over.
I'm not sorry that he is far better off now, having left the world of his
suffering behind and gone to the presence of his Lord and Master, being
welcomed with a hearty, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
He
lived a good life, and left us with many good memories. He had an
impact on those around him, and the world as a whole. He died
peacefully.
I
realized that I was continuing on with a legacy of his, in a way. He
was always a good carpenter and even architect. Wood was his friend. He
once built/carved a toy wooden rifle for me, complete with strap,
trigger guard, sights, and a "barrel" (a copper pipe end that was nailed
to the end). It was correctly scaled, looked the part (aside from being
wood), and fit me well. He did it in the space of an hour. At the age
of 7 or 8, I had no idea how impressive that was, I just thought it was
the coolest thing ever. I had that toy for many years, surviving many
hours of exploring in the woods, and two moves.
I
did not inherit my father's gift of woodworking, but I realized that I
did inherit his desire to make something lasting with my hands. It just
took me longer in life to get it started. Steel is my chosen material,
and hopefully the bikes I make will bring the same joy to those who
receive them.